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By Cole Carson
When guys go on a first date, they face a certain issue: what should they do? Should they wait and let the girl make the move, or take initiative and dive right in? It’s no secret that guys have a hard time knowing what girls want – we communicate in very different ways, and we just always seem to be on different frequencies when it comes to picking up on what the other sex is feeling. So to figure out what women want on their first date, let’s take a little look at women themselves.
First you need to recognize the fact that girls need to be shown that you are interested in them. That’s what a girl is looking for in a first date – interest. Girls are terrible guessers, and if you don’t give her a good reason to feel like you are into her, she’s naturally going to assume you must not be. The problem? When we do express our interest, we make a lot of mistakes. Girls and guys communicate on totally different levels, and while you may be sincerely trying to show her that you like her, it’s easy to forget her perspective and come across completely different from how we really feel.
One of the most detrimental mistakes that guys make is getting too physical on a first date. True, you are showing her some interest, but it isn’t the kind that she’s going to be interested in. Every other guy out there is just as interested in her body as you are – so what? Does this actually make you seem special, or does she have any reason to think that you care more about her than anyone else? Women aren’t usually looking to make the first date a very physical affair, and if they decide to somewhere along the night, they’ll let you know. For the most part, just try to keep your hands to yourself. She’ll appreciate that.
Another thing to keep in mind is that a lot of men pay a girl far too many compliments. Every guy knows that girls absolutely love to get compliments, but a lot of them overcompensate way too much. Giving a girl one or two compliments throughout the night is a pretty good number, but too much more than that is going a bit overboard. Expressing a lot of obvious interest in her appearance will not only make you seem shallow, but probably rather creepy as well. Keep in mind that there are a number of guys out there who would love to shower her in compliments and she knows this. – You want to stand out. Keep it low and simple, and make sure that whenever you show appreciation for her appearance that it’s at appropriate timing. One of the best ways to show a girl you’re interested in her and only her? Don’t look at other females.
Also make sure you keep the conversation away from past relationships. It never fails to surprise me how many men that think that by talking about a past girlfriend or how much they’ve been hurt before, they’ll come across as caring and sensitive. You don’t care about her ex-boyfriends, so why would she care about your past relationships either? The last thing a woman wants to hear about on your first date is other women. By talking about your past relationships you’ll really only come across as whiney and melodramatic. Think about this. If you were at a dealership looking for a car, would you really want to hear about how many other people passed it up?
This should be common sense, but a lot of people seem to overlook it. Like everyone else in the world, girls are not attracted to a negative personality. Don’t complain, don’t whine, and don’t try to come off as cool and rough by looking at the bad side of things. It’s easy to be caught in those moments where you’re trying to be funny and think of anything to say to get conversation going, so you fill in the void with an attempt at witty humor about how bad the music is, or how poor the service is, or how long the car ride was. Girls don’t like this, and to be honest, neither does anyone else. Want to impress her? Focus a little more on the positives. If you’re having to wait forever on your food, keep her entertained and make it a good experience.
Keep all of this in mind, and don’t forget that it’s up to you to take the initiative on the first date and let the girl know you’re into her. Don’t let her go back inside her house questioning if you want to see her again. Just make sure that, above all, you remember that men and women see things differently, and make sure that whatever you’re doing to show her your interest is something that will actually make a positive impression on her.
About the Author: Cole Carson is a successful internet marketer and entrepreneur. He specializes in the fields of nutrition and health, motivational literature, and marketing and business topics.
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